While I was dancing with the moon and the sun last week at the festival, I had quite a number of insights from deep within.
Over the last couple of years I identified as a futurist. And I kinda realized now that this is still a fragment from my old life. Futurist was the term that would best describe what I do in the business context but my reality is, my nature was never that of a businessman.
While I was dancing I realized that although I have quite some talent in the field what I am really interested in is mythology, storytelling, psychology and altered states and the expansion of consciousness and awareness. And I realized that I identify more with a “modern day shaman” – a transpersonal psychologist – than a futurist… at least when it comes to what I am on the inside.
That scene from “What the Bleep to we (k)now?” with the shaman just came to my mind while I am writing this and essentially that is what I do and always did.
I kinda can see the ripples and eventually can see the ships before others do, that’s why some people started calling me a futurist or giving me similar labels.
Yet, I am more of a shaman. And it’s funny, looking back when I was 19, some people used to call me the “Shaman of Hietzing” (the district I am from). I didn’t know then what a shaman is… still, I did sacred medicine work with people, doing ceremonies with people – neither knowing what sacred medicine is, nor what ceremonies are. I just followed my intuition and people loved the one-on-one “sessions” with me. I would go on a path that would make me shine and then in the 2010s I thought I needed to be a businessman to provide for my wife and myself… well at least that is the story I tell myself.
In reality one of the reasons I left healing work was that I felt like I never had experienced my “shamanic crisis” – which I believe to be essential if you work in “traditional” forms of healing. However, this has definitely changed over the course of the last couple of years.
Furthermore, I realized that one of my teachers and inspirers, Stanislav Grof, gave me the blueprint for my path when I joined him in a private session in 2007. I didn’t quite grasp it then, but now I feel like I’m ready.
The feeling I have right now inside is sound. Let’s see how things will roll from here.
For the moment, I just know, I want to enjoy this summer. There is still so much work I need to do before I leave Vienna. So I guess I will sleep less, work harder, prepare for the summer and enjoy my last days in Vienna. And when I am back to Attica again I will focus on the work I truly love, sharing it with the people I connect in love with – celebrating life again.