Little Paradise


So it’s been a week now that I’ve settled here in Lagos. Although it’s a city and I had planned to live in nature, it’s a very nice city to live in. Essencia simply didn’t properly prepare to host people like me to stay over winter (which get’s fairly cold but more importantly, humid) and their guesthouse is too expensive for me.

So, I live with my Persian family together in a nice apartment in a nice area. The sea is about 10 minutes by foot away and Shirzad and me, we go there every morning for our morning practice, doing Qi Gong on the beach and then breath work before we go into the cold water of the Atlantic ocean. It is not freezing cold yet but we really plan to go throughout the winter and I’m also looking forward to this.

Daytimes I work and in the evenings we either do some type of bodywork, music together or attend one of the many offers like ecstatic dance, yoga, cacao ceremonies, etc. around and connect to cool people.

And while back home it’s becoming winter again, here, after the rain nature are blossoming again like in spring…

The vibe here is amazing. Really, we are so far away from the worries of the war, the pandemic, energy crisis or anything alike. People from all around the world gather here to live, heal, enjoy their lives.

And really, coming here once more showed me how sick and psychotic the energy in Austria is. Austria is like a golden cage, with one of the most beautiful countries in the world and a system that is second to none… but there is still this deeply underlying fascistic subconscious Nazi spirit in the society (that I sometimes can even feel from left-wing people). It is so subtle that you can hardly even grab it once you are there a couple of weeks. However, from the outside you can quite obviously see it, e.g. looking at the presidential elections 2016 when a Nazi got 50% of the votes. “But he is not a Nazi!”… yeah, right, like Trump who’s not a sexual predator 😉

So really, finally I have freed myself from this sick energy. My only concern is my daughter that has to grow up in this braun-hole of a country. Her mother is extremely caring and takes care of all her needs but is yet to be confronted with the racism that our daughter will experience once she is in school… especially in the area that she lives in, which is known to be the brownest of them all. Money can buy her a lot of things but unfortunately not protect her from racism.

So, I really hope they will come here one day and see how beautiful life can be around here so they might also even want to settle in the area and we can live like patchwork family.

South Portugal is amazing, so wildly beautiful with it’s nature, the sun, the ocean… so archaic, with the fire and the winds… so healing with all the sacred medicine work around… so culturally diverse with people from all over the world coming to this place that also used to be an empire… one being connected to places like Brazil and Goa… and you can really feel the vibe of these places here, but it’s in Europe…

Especially if you are a remote worker, it’s the perfect place if you like the vibe of the sun, love the nature, live a spiritual life and want to be truly free…

It’s a little paradise!


The Grandmother Ceremony


Saturday I did my fourth ritual for the transition into my new life. It was a grandmother ceremony including possibly my most powerful Kambo session yet, with two medicine men from the Huni Kuin tribe.

It was very intense and powerful. Most of all I realised how blessed I am in life with many things that “happened to me” and the people that are a major part of my life, i.e. my family, my child and her mother and my close friends.

I am truly blessed despite the traumas I have experienced in this lifetime – with experiencing the revolution in Iran as a baby and it’s aftermath as a child growing up with deeply traumatized parents as well as physical-, emotional- and sexual abuse and this deep level of racism against middle eastern men in Austria – I’ve experienced deeper shit than most of my peers experienced… and still, I am grateful.

I realised on a different level that my father is dying – possibly quite soon, hopefully he has some more time to enjoy his grandchild and his new home – but he is dying. When the psychic told me so at the beginning of September, I didn’t want to hear it. And now I can see that I have the opportunity to make true peace with him to fare him well. I hope he will make it to Spain so I can visit him there. Austria just doesn’t feel like the right place to make peace.

During the ceremony I made peace with many people on a deeper level and felt gratitude for who they are in my life and what they do and did for and to me. Now it’s time for me to move on.

And I do. I feel so welcome here in South Portugal since I arrived. With all the people I got to know. The way the people positively react towards me and the doors that open. And the energy, it’s so different. Austria still has this deeply underlying subtle Nazi energy and I can always feel it when I am there… especially when I am here in Portugal or in Greece. It’s so different to be here and I am blessed that I can be.

I’m on the brink of the next stage of my life now. In a way it means that I need to stop fooling myself about many things and start doing certain things that build me and my future. When do I want to start, if not now.

In a way I feel like I’ve grown up in this ceremony and this ritual prepared my consciousness to manifest the next stage of my life.

I’m Here, Now and ready!

Let’s roll…


The Grandfather Ceremony


Thursday was one of my most stressful birthdays ever. I had to get prepared for my trip and celebrate 😉

Friday, I was travelling all day long.

Saturday the ritual at the Temple of the Earth started. It was the third of five rituals I started for the transition into my new life.

I love these rituals. The way they build up. The way you look at people at the beginning and the end and everything that happens in between.

We started with our intentions. One tamazcal stone with an intention for ourself and the second for one loved one that needs healing. For a moment I thought to choose another person but I ended up with my father as he is seriously ill. I hesitated… also the psychic I work with had made a hint – just first week before his diagnosis – that he might not live very much longer as he is already on his farewell ride. It somehow feels strange to wish for someone to live longer that has already decided to go. So I wished for the healing he needs before he goes.

So we start with the tamazcal/sweatlodge and although I love sauna, tamazcal is challenging in a very different way. And I love it. Every time you do it, it feels like a rebirth.

And then the medicine, the grandfather, for me it is really subtle but very powerful… very powerful.

I came here to have a proper landing into my new life. And, wow, what a ritual. What a start into the next chapter. What a landing back to Portugal.

So after two cups we sat at the bond-fire and the people were addressing the bond-fire as grandfather fire. So I thought I might just ask my grandfather for his blessing and support. And then it hit me. It was on that day 43 years ago when he was murdered in jail for being the powerful and charismatic man he was. Officially it was rated as suicide but in reality he was beaten to death – otherwise he would have had a solid head.

What a better day to get a blessing of my grandfather than on the anniversary of his death. And then I wondered… “Shall I get politically active now?” It took me a while to ask him but his answer was a definite “No!”

I was a bit confused and then looked up the sky. I see one of the most beautiful star skies I’ve every seen. And then I say out spontaneously “Why the fuck did I stay for the last two months in Austria?”… “Because I wanted my daughter to feel my love for her and how much I miss her. And one day, I will play Cosmic Game with her and show her that amazing star sky.”