Gnothi Seauton

Delphi

For one momemt, I was at the brink of war… getting sucked into that frequency, once I returned to Austria.

But a decision like this to make requires a blessing of the Gods.

In the ancient times, before you were allowed to ask the Oracle of Delphi, you had a preparation phase of a few days, sometimes weeks to identify the right question. Once you had the right one you were allowed to consult the Oracle.

Arriving at my hotel at Delphi, I did the ritual – cleansing myself, meditating and going through the process of finding the right question – the dice…

I asked all sort’s of questions… what I should do, how I should do, when I should do… but non was the right one.

I draw a card for the Here and Now… Celebration – depicting three ecstaticly dancing women…

I ask: Is ecstatic dance my path?

It’s the right question!

WTF, seriously, like, the only thing I don’t question in my life right now – and DON’T want to question – is Sufi Ecstatic!

“Just because she wants to remain in the center of your attention, it doesn’t mean that you should let her be. It’s not about her anymore. It’s only about your children!”

Ok… there we go…

I walk down the path towards the Apollo Temple…

My mind goes crazy… I get caught up in my headfuck: The answer is, no! It is no! It’s not my path… how shall I tell Momo… what was all of this good for…

Chill, man, chill, wait for the answer of the Gods…

I sit there, build an alter, ask for the spirits of all the directions to come for support… I start to tell the Gods how I failed them…

“Don’t be so harsh on yourself… you are human… you are flawed… so are we Gods…

You came to ask a question… and don’t ask the question on going to war again. We answered it last year!”

Is ecstatic dance my path?

“What’s your relationship with Momo?”

It struck me… like, the first thing I always do when I have anything smelling like a meaningful encounter is drawing cards.

So it took the mother of my child dragging me to Delphi, asking for the Gods’ blessings to break my silence, only to sit here in front of the Gods wittnessing my first draw with Momo?!

“No, it’s for you to do your first draw with Momo at this sacred space, so you witness it yourself without ever doubting it!”

The first draw, usually is the the one that shows the full potential…

Our composit energy:

The Lovers

…….

That very moment, Momo writes and asks me to ask the Gods about his path as ceremonial leader and as a father…

I connect to Apollo and give the response.

Eventually he says: Your hear is too big not to share it with the whole world!

I share Apollos messages with Momo and bring my attention back to The Lovers.

I never drew The Lover on First Draw…

For a Sufi, The Lovers is the highest card he can draw…

It’s not about romantic love…

It’s not about sexual love…

It’s about the pure frequency of LOVE

Momo is pure love…

And tapping into his frequency, it amplifies my love frequency… and through our work we radiate limitless love into the world…

After so many years of restricting my heart, my love frequency and the way that I allow myself to love, it’s about being what I once was… when I started On A Trip

“This is the answer to all of your questions you came here with today… become pure limitless love again… your heart is too big not to share it with the world! You found a heart brother, a true mirrow, a heart that connects you to the divine! From now on, radiate pure love!”

Apollo smiles…

Erkenne was du bist!

Ahasveros

Preparing

Vienna Airport

In ancient times kings preparing for war would go to Delphi asking the gods for their guidance and their blessings.

The events in the last few weeks lead me to the conclusion to finally break my silence.

I know if I do, she will bring hell upon me with the resources she has.

But I have nothing to lose any longer.

And I’m no longer ready to endure what I did for so long for the sake of my loved ones.

Red lines have been crossed!

Over the last three weeks I’ve been preparing, screening all the evidence I have – which is a lot – and talking to the people I needed to. Now, I pay a visit to the gods in Delphi asking the gods for their guidence and blessings.

I always wanted my version of the truth to be told but for the sake of peace and respect I held back.

I have no reason to hold back any longer.

Ahasveros

Forgiveness

Vienna

Dear Xenia Minou,

today is your fourth birthday. I remember very well the day and moment you were born and the beauty of the hours, days, weeks and month thereafter.

I love you so much!

You don’t know how much I do…

I’m so sorry, I cannot participate in your life as much I would like to.

And I always will… you are my sun!

Perhaps you will wonder if I loved you enough. Never question that… I do!

One day you will understand that people always try to do the best they can… and still often fail to do the right thing, although they should have known better.

The reason being, that we are conditioned to do and believe what we do and believe. And often the bond to our family is so strong that we keep repeating the stories and the trauma we experienced ourselves.

Jesus once said “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.”

And rather than repeating the trauma we experienced ourselves and passed on to you, transcend it. Be better than us rather than repeating it and by that understanding it to be able to forgive us.

I ask you, from the bottom of my heart, forgive your mother and me as we know not what we did. We were not conscious! Be conscious and forgive us without doing the same mistakes we did.

I love you my sun… koochooloo…

Ahasveros

23.07.23

Vienna

What a special day…

A seven year cycle was closing as seven years earlier I initiated my new life by going to OZORA for the first time.

Seven years later, I would close that cycle by being an artist/healer at Boom.

What a special day…

One year earlier I was baptised in the lake of Boomland with the name of Ahasveros.

One year later I was using that name as my artist name at Boom.

What a special day…

That day, I lost my fire-agate ring at the communion performance with Momo… my most precious ring, that also used to be my master ring for twelve years.

Twelve days later – dancing with the gods in OZORA – I realized it was my gift to Momo of our mystical union.

I have the habbit to wear rings that are precious to me for some time and pass them on to a person I love… with my energy and experience.

And when I lost that ring on 23.07.23 I believed this one I would never pass on.

Boom Festival 2023…

I invited Momo to join me as my co-artist for my Sufi breathwork and whirling meditation. He is a cacao ceremony facilitator and ecstatic dance DJ.

Before Boom, we hardly had time to meet and prepare. At Boom we connected deeply and spend a lot of time together.

Momo is a heart brother. He is love. He radiates love.

On Sunday, July 23rd 2023 at 7 pm we had our performance together at Chi Temple.

We were quite curious to see how many people would join us to such an event. We didn’t expect too much as it was announced as a meditation, not an ecstatic dance combined with sufi meditations.

At seven we started. I asked Momo to open the ceremony and then he passed the word to me…

“Doorood Boom… a Sufi is one who sees life through the heart… a Sufi is one who lives truth through love!”

I continue explaining the Sufi breathwork and the whirling.

And then, Momo puts the music on for the meditations…

At the beginning the Chi Temple was already quite full… during the meditations it continued to fill up.

From whirling we shift towards the ecstatic dance.

The frequency went super-high quickly. Not only the crowd started to experience ecstasy but also Momo and me, we were ecstatic and drunk by the frequency.

The crowd exploded, the temple was packed – as more and more people were attracted by the frequency – and as more people started to join, they started to dance all around the temple too.

When the ceremony was over, everyone was super-high, super-ecstatic. People would come to us, hug us, thank us, express their gratitude, telling us it was their “Boom Moment 2023” – some even said ever. Over the course of the final three days at the festival people would continue to approach us and thank us.

And still now, four weeks later, people keep sending us messages like this one we just received:

“We joined Chi Temple where you played because we were captivated by the music and the JOY of the people dancing …. The music and the moment were so beautiful that we cried out of joy for 20 minutes after the end of the mediation. Thank you and the Sufi master for making us feel this unconditional love with so many people at the same time, the merging between all of us was…. magical! Thank you again, LOVE”

When the stage facilitators came to us telling us that our ceremony was the best one on that stage thus far, we realised that really something special had happened and it was not just us feeling high by the frequency.

We were super high out of joy and ecstasy having created and experienced what we did.

And then I realised, after thirteen years I lost the ring that used to be my master ring for twelve years. The last ring I got as a bachelor… the ring I wore during my divorce opening up my new life… the ring I wore during my TEDx speech… the ring I wore when I witnessed the birth of my daughter.

It kinda was an irony that I lost that ring that was forged by a Sufi during that Sufi ceremony.

Instantly, I said “I guess it was not supposed to be mine any longer. Whoever finds it will be blessed and enjoy it.”

Eventually, someone would find it that night and give it back to me. But I knew losing it was a sign and it was not mine any longer…

Later, when I sat with Momo, I looked at my ring and pulled it off my finger.

“I believe it was no coincidence that I lost it… it is time to pass it on…”

I hand him over the ring.

“A Sufi master has forged it! Now, you are a Sufi brother”

Three nights later, the final night at Boom, we met just before I went to rest early so I could leave early the next morning to meet my daughter.

“We’ll call it Sufi Ecstatic… let’s carry that medicine out into the world.”

Twelve days later at OZORA in the middle of my dance I realise that not just something new was born on 23.7.23… by gifting that ring to Momo, it was our mystic union… like Rumi meeting Shams…

Ahasveros

OZORA 2023

Vienna

The last four weeks were so intense, I’m just starting to integrate now.

When I arrived at OZORA Festival on Monday evening, I had a bad welcome and start already at the gate.

After that magical Boom experience, I felt like was in the wrong film. Through filters, I only saw drunk Berlin hipsters who joined as tourists at one of the best “parties” in the world.

When I woke up in the morning, I decided to drive to Heviz to chill at the hot springs and give OZORA another try after.

I returned on Wednesday evening. Immediately met some friends, including my best friend Nora, and had a much better start.

It was supposed to rain hard from Friday on, so I decided to just stay and have a last sun-dance with Astrix on Friday noon and the call it a psytrance summer.

When Astrix played, I went in, dancing “The Dance”. It was nice, yet, not the dance I’m used to, dancing and talking to the gods.

Afterward, I chilled in a hammock near the main stage for about an 1 1/2 hours while Darwish had his set on, being convinced I would leave soon.

When E-Clip started, the vibe dragged me to the main stage again. I thought I’d have another short dance.

What happened then was unprecedented…

Basically, I wouldn’t stop dancing for the next 60 hours.

People keep asking me which festival is better, OZORA or Boom.

I used to say: You can’t compare… both have a different character…

But after this summer, I say:

Boom is perhaps the “better” festival overall, but OZORA Main stage… it’s another dimension…

My step counter shows that after two weeks of dancing at two festivals, in my final 62 hours I danced the equivalent of more than two marathons (about 90 km) over the last three days with about 12 hours of sleep during that stint… me somebody who cannot even run a five-kilometer run in one go…

The way this endurance was possible was simply that I allowed my body to hyperventilate throughout my dance and instead of 800 ml of water, I actually had an extra 2 liter water pack in my backpack.

What had happened was indescribable. I celebrated life – all the gifts and blessings I receive through life – through this dance. I talked to the gods as I do in Delphi, and the gods talked to and danced with me. Every time I was about to quit, they whispered another epiphany about the beauty of my life into my ears, so I couldn’t stop dancing. I danced out of appreciation… out of joy…

I had so many deep epiphanies, about my wedding at Boom, the gratitude I feel for the mother and grandmother of my child, contacting Stanislav Grof before he passes away to get his blessing of how I would like to use his work in my way and much, much more…

I connected to so many beautiful souls and made beautiful friendships. People would come up to me – many of them recognising me from ceremony at Boom – wanting hugs and my blessings. Some of them started crying when I hugged them, some of them bowed down to me out of gratitude, Some even fell to their knees.

I bow down to all of them… we humans are all flawed but so beautiful…

And I was grateful to them as they reflected to me, that I finally stopped pretending to be…

I am…

Ahasveros

Reflections and Consultations

Vienna

Over the last nine months I made a lot of effort to see my daughter regularly. I had hoped that my efforts would be honored by being able to see my daughter in a vacation-like setting. That was not the case.

Since Friday I’m back to Vienna and started to make appointments. Usually I do so with my best friends here. But yesterday, I realised that I only make appointments with all of my mentors, psychics and guides that I was guided by over the last 25 years. At the same time I am reading all of the emails, messages and listen to audiofiles I have with the mother of my child.

I have a big decision to make… possibly the biggest of my life. Shall I finally break my silence about what really happened and make everything transparent? This is a decision that will have a major influence, especially on my child, but also her mother and me.

Because some of the things that have happened and have been said are CRAZY SHIT… like seriously surreal shit…

I realised what’s subconsciously going on inside me just now when I send my first mentor a message. The one I have first consulted 29 years ago and haven’t seen in more than a decade.

Writing this, I realise it’s time for me to consult the gods again…

It’s time for me to go to Delphi.

But before, I hope to be to able to celebrate my daughters birthday with her mother, her grandmother and my whole family. Sometimes miracles happen, when people come to celebrate a miracle…

Ahasveros