40 Days

In various spiritual traditions and psychology forty days has an important meaning.

When we fall in love we have to wait forty days to be sure of our feelings.

In mystical thought, the number 40 represents the elevation to a higher level and spiritual awakening.

Shams and Rumi met and locked themselves up in Rumi’s library for forty days before Rumi became enlightened.

The Buddha meditated under a tree for 40 days.

And Jesus Christ went into the desert for 40 days.

And the list goes on and on and on…

Forty days ago I met a very special woman. And it is bedazzling how I was struck like from lightning by her inner and outer beauty.

What kinda shocked me is that I drew the same cards that I drew before I fathered my daughter. What started out like the feeling that I found a muse now more like this could potentially become a deeper relationship.

And yes, fathering another child kinda became a possibility. Having a child is one of the most beautiful things in life… if not the most beautiful one. And since I am not allowed to see my daughter discover the world, deeply inside of me, there is the wish to father another child.

Today our fortieth day ended and indeed it was a special day, as we connected in a way we hadn’t connected before. So let’s see where life will take us. I’m not sure if it is the right time neither for her nor for me. Maybe I should hit the breaks…

In any case the last forty days were kinda crazy. Was she the catalyst or was it me:

In late September I realized I needed to cancel the contract with my agent. I mean, I really like my agent personally, yet, I feel like it is not the right time for me to work with her as I really need to get my other project going and speaking kinda is a real distraction at the moment. Working with Austria’s most prolific speaker agent is a great honor and opportunity. But again, I’m not sure if it is the right time for me.

A few days later the app of my new project was launched in the app store. Woohoo, I actually do have an app in the app store now and the timing is kinda perfect, now that I have time to fully focus on promoting it.

And then, a few days later I edited an episode of my podcast where I interviewed I person I value very much. I find she is a genius, yet I found she had a lot of detrimental self-talk in the podcast. It was the first time I cut out the majority of an episode, as it was quite negative talk. I talked to her to tell her she didn’t understand. She had a lot of frustration about her past and told me “I will forget but never forgive!” I automatically replied “Look, this is not healthy. Believe me, I can feel your pain. What shall I tell you?! I forgave the one who took away my child from me. I cannot be mad at someone who is hypnotized by other people or society.” I was kinda surprised by my response. But reality is, it is the truth. How can you be mad at someone who is not aware of what he or she is doing? And most people are in a. kind of hypnosis. Go check out my podcast episode with hypnotist Albert Nerenberg. And that’s why I’ve finally started going deeper into hypnosis this months.

At last I coincidentally saw a picture from my granddad in a newspaper article. It struck me. The article was about the 2,500 year celebration of the Persian Empire. 50 years ago the shah of Iran celebrated a “party” that famously was described by Orsen Welles as “This was no party of the year, it was the celebration of 25 centuries!” The Iranian Shah had invited the international elites including presidents, kings and queens from all over the world attended this celebration Where the Shah declared himself as the “King of Kings” in front of the united international elite. It is no wonder that he was overthrown a few years later with the support of the West. I mean, who would be so bold as to offend the world’s elites so blatantly?

And my grandfather?! He was the man who stood right behind the Shah as the standard-bearer of the 2,500-year-old empire. Of course I was always aware of that fact, but at that moment it struck me once again and I had to laugh out hard about this absurdity: Me and my heritage were good enough for the international political and aristocratic elite but not good enough for the provincial “high-society” living around a lake in Austria 🤣

40 fun, intense, productive, transformative days are behind me. I mean, they were super intense. Let’s see what the next 40 have in store.

vox