The winter solstice was a very remarkable day for me and it initiated a true and deep transformation inside of me. It does feel like the end of a metamorphosis.
I remember, my mentor had told me in 2016 – a few months before he had passed away – that my true metamorphosis was still to come. Looking back, he was right. And indeed it had started that summer in OZORA.
Six weeks have passed since feels like the winter solstice and looking back, it seems to be its beginning of the end.
I started a detox around the winter solstice, which is still ongoing until the beginning of spring. It is actually the first time I’m doing a detox where I not only feel the physical effects of a detox but also the mental ones. And a friend of mine who is a Sufi master called me a week ago to tell me that he had the calling to “check” the level of my spiritual development with his metaphysical tools and that I have surpassed his level.
I’m not quite sure what this actually means, the only thing I can say is that I do perceive many things very differently recently. And considering the craziness surrounding me I kinda feel as good as I haven’t felt like in years… maybe even in life.
A psychic read the Akashic records for me recently. Her vision was: I see an 8 year old boy. You are very powerful – physically and metaphysically. You are beautiful and gentle. Although you are powerful you do not use your strength. People hurt you, but you do not react or defend yourself and just sit and wait. You are aware of your power but do not do anything.
I was stunned by the accuracy. When I was eight, I had changed to a new school. My teacher disliked me so when my fellow pupils found out that they could beat me up without getting punished, I was beaten up every day in every break. My teacher would notice it but not react. And since I was bigger and stronger than my fellow pupils I never dared to punch back. I was scared if I would punch back, I might seriously injure someone. I learned how to endure pain. In fact I have never had a physical fight in my life.
Why I am telling that story? It is interesting what has happened since the reading.
In the last weeks I subconsciously started to cut ties with people who are toxic for me – I guess it is part of the detox. And I am not talking about people I dislike but people who are actually very close and dear to me. Yet, I am no longer ready to endure this toxicity. There are some people in my life that are very dear to me but whom I allowed to use abusive patterns and emotional blackmailing towards me.
Yesterday was the third person I cut ties with in as many weeks. I showed that person – who is very dear to me – my true strength. A person who has emotionally abused me for many years. That person was stunned that I suddenly started to defend myself.
I don’t know why I always had this dogma inside of me that I need to endure abuse. No, I don’t need to and I won’t any longer.
Once you realise you are not a victim but a creator, allowing abuse becomes a choice.
And I will never allow anyone to abuse me anymore. Even if it means that I need to cut ties from the ones I love most…