I was never particularly interested in the British Royal Family and never followed what was going on on the inside, yet yesterday I took the time to watch the Ophra interview with Prince Harry and Meghan.
The fact that a member of the royal family had a concern about the skin color of Archie made me curious – a type of unconscious racism that I experienced myself multiple times during my lifetime. I had quite a few girlfriends who’s parents expressed their concern about them potentially having a child with me due to my ethnicity.
I watched the interview very vigilantly and although I know that we got only presented one side of the story (and I am, nonetheless, pretty sure that this was merely an excerpt of Harry’s and Meghan’s truth). I believe that their perception is indeed their truth.
“Institution” is defined as: A “stable, valued, recurring patterns of behavior” or “integrated systems of rules that structures social interactions”. So in my terminology I would call it a manifestation of certain values, paradigms and behaviours/interactions – which naturally unconsciously breeds unconscious bias in itself.
So really, I am not surprised by what the couple unveiled during their interview. When we look at Britain’s role in the history of the world in the last few centuries and on what foundations it was built upon – especially colonialism – it is obvious that some type of unconscious bias and racism is part of that institution.
Unconscious racism is something that is merely understood by the ones who are not directly affected – “the privileged”. There are so many aspects to racism that are not obvious that the ones who are part of a system – part of an “institution” – actually cannot grasp it until they get directly affected through a close friend or partner – and often even then they downplay it as it is an inconvenient and painful truth.
And they are not to blame. If you grow up with a set of beliefs and values which are your “normal” how should you be able to challenge your own beliefs. The problem is, when you don’t know that you don’t know what you don’t know, you cannot challenge it. It is out of your conception. It is literally a blind spot. And it is part of your everyday reality.
It’s kinda like telling a fish that it lives in water. It only knows water. It’s its only reality and anything else then water is somehow inconceivable for it. And it would never question it. Questioning it would be kinda crazy.
So usually the people putting the focus and attention at those truths or blind spots are called out for being crazy or victimising themselves.
“Meghan is playing the race-card!”
Is she?
Or is she not merely mirroring an inconvenient truth?
What about the obvious double standards the media had when praising Kate for doing exactly the same things (e.g. eating avocados) while attacking Meghan for it (this was an example in the interview).
So your first reaction will perhaps be now: “Avocados?! WTF? Who cares about avocados?” This is exaggerated and she seems to be too sensitive.
Is she?
Isn’t it exactly these seemingly ridiculous occurrences that show so much truth? And this is merely one that can be easily proven, as it is documented by the media. So many other such seemingly small occurrences aren’t.
And it is funny that I wrote about family dynamics in my last entry before the interview: Harry spoke about “History is repeating itself.” Of course it is. First of all, Harry needed to understand WHY had happened to his mother – subconsciously choosing the “right” partner for that. And by choosing Meghan and leaving he chose to overcome and heal that “destiny”. And also, of course history is repeating itself, because the Royals never really made up with what had happened to/with Diana and why. So it had to repeat itself. That’s the natural cycle of what happens within families (sometimes even over many generations) when things don’t get solved or healed.
When Harry said that his father and brother are trapped in a cage that they cannot perceive it from the inside, I perfectly understood what he was talking about. I know so many people – including me – who are trapped in their thought patterns, their unconscious dogmas and paradigms – their “mental institutions” – usually the ones they have taken over from their family and society. And that’s the reason why most people are actually trapped and not “free”.
These paradigms are so tricky because we don’t know that we don’t know what we don’t know and therefore never question it.
I wish for Harry that his issues with his family will eventually get solved. But my personal experience shows me that his cards are not the best. In the past, I have tried to show to people very dear to me the mental traps that confine them and I hardly ever was successful and usually paid a very high price for it.
It is easier to maintain the status quo than challenge a well established and seemingly security-giving “institution”. In the process you usually find something valid to prove that those people who speak out these inconvenient truths – showing you your cage – are generally crazy so you eventually have an excuse to get rid of them.
Yes, also in this respect history is repeating itself. Throughout human history usually the people who would speak the truth would get stigmatised or killed. That’s one of the reasons why Sufis for example wrote poems, where you can only find the truth in-between the lines.
And as one of my deeply experienced friends on the path of truth once said:
Even most people who believe they are “awakened” are merely people who just had a spiritual opening and then return to their golden cage to find a comfortable spot within.
vox