The Ritual

When I went to OZORA for the first time in 2016 I didn’t quite know what to expect.

When I arrived there I was excited and at the same time, I felt like there are mostly freaks running around that I couldn’t necessarily identify with.

After my second day I thought I should leave, yet, a friend told me he will show me how to dance with the moon and the sun.

What shall I say… I started dancing with the moon at midnight. I’ve never experienced anything like this in my life before. My body became one with the rhythm and just started moving. My dance would become something in-between a “Qi Gong dance” – where I would move blocked energy from my body and embrace new energy to my body – and ultra speed “kung-fu movements”… i never knew I could actually move my body that fast.

After three hours of non-stop dancing I needed a break. I would sit down on the side of the main-stage at the hill where I had a nice overview of the main-stage. Suddenly, I would start to think of people with whom I still had some unresolved issues in my life. Spontaneously – similar to a family constellation work – I would feel them, feel the pain I inflicted in their life and talk to them, ask them for forgiveness and or farewell them. One by one. Some I would send text-messages to, others I would just connect to internally.

This was one of the most transformational nights I have had in my life… possibly even the one. After about two hours of this process I continued to a dance a bit more before I would go to sleep in a random hammock in the forrest for the first time in my life (and I would never sleep in a tent at festivals on my own again after that night).

When I woke up the next day I learned how to dance with the sun-rhythem. The dance is kinda different: less smooth – more carthasic and liberating. This would become the day I would dance for the first time in my life for more than 10 hours.

Dancing with the moon is more of a “feminine” dance whereas dancing with the sun more of a “masculine” dance. The moon dance would soften the body, unleash stagnation and blockages and make the energy float again properly, while the sun dance is a dance that makes you release whatever needs to be released. And both ways of dancing help me to process my shit.

I returned from OZORA as a different man. It was a new awakening. The beginning of the end of my marriage and the beginning of my new life.

“Goa-dance” would become my carthasis – my healing ritual. In 2017 I would show OZORA to my – then – still-wife but she wasn’t able to experience this journey with me – it was kinda my last hope to reconnect with her in that surreal world again. But she would separate from me a few months later.

During the 2018 festival I was eventually able to let go of her during my first night at OZORA – dancing with the moon again – eventually sending her my sincere blessings for her future life without me at the end of my first ritual (and literally divorcing her the day after the festival in peace).

In 2019 – dancing with the sun – I realized deep inside for the first time that I would become a father that month.

That “epiphany” would make me dance for more than 12 hours continuously out of pure joy and love for my unborn daughter.

OZORA would become my most important yearly ritual. It is like a real-life seven day holotropic breathwork session for me – it has all the aspects of holotropic breathwork with the music, the people and community, the carthasis, the epiphanies and artistic expression, ecstatically dancing would equalize the breathwork and bodywork for me… I kinda subconsciously applied the holotropic breathwork framework I had learned for five years and made the festival my breathing-mat 😉 yet, a good Goa festival feels way more intense and transformational.

Still, for me, Goa/Psytrance, is no music I particularly enjoy. It is a crazy rhythm inspired by shamanic drums – those that catapult you into a trance. And my dance is my cathartic movement that lets me naturally process whatever trauma or stagnation is stuck inside from the previous year.

This weekend, I attended a proper outdoor-festival for the first time since OZORA 2019 (due to the Corona Pandemic OZORA was canceled in 2020 and 2021). It was just a four day festival, yet it did the “job” for me… dancing again on Goa with the moon and the sun.

The timing was perfect… the last days of spring 2021, not having danced like that in almost two years and so much to process.

I had so many epiphanies and insights it almost blew my mind while welcoming the summer of 2021.

Welcome Summer 😉

vox