Efat jan


Today we carried my grandmother to her grave in her 98th year of life and I had the honor to pay my last respects to her with the memorial speech.

She was a special person with a strong character. This picture is her proudly riding me around Tehran in her 40 year old Pekan at the age of 83 when I went to Iran in 2007.

She had this strong, independent side in herself, yet, she always complained about everything, due to the deficiency she felt deep inside – no surprise with her history: The blows of fate she had experienced with the death of both of her parents at an early stage, with the brutal suicide of her sister, with the murder of her husband during the Iranian Revolution and the early death of her own daughter due to brain cancer she endured a lot of pain and suffering.

I remember one day when I was in Tehran and came back from her house – like usually after I had visited her, my energy was drained – and complained about her character to my dervish friend, he responded: “She is one of the greatest masters of your life!” This response went really deep and would eventually guide me many years later in my greatest crisis when a person with very similar character traits tried emotionally blackmailing and punishing me. I see this individual and how she treats me as my greatest master and greatest challenge and teaching of my life – and possibly even my guide to full awakening.

The strength and calmness I remain in today would not exist if I hadn’t had this experience. For that I am really grateful to my grandmother and my dervish friend.

Apart from that, my grandmother was one of my main pillars of my life in Iran. I have a lot of memories some more coining experiences with and trough her in Iran and the trip of my life in 2007.

Those Iran trips between 2007-2013 were the most important ones of my life and she was an integral part of them.

And now she is gone.

Friday a week ago – just 15 hours before she had passed away – I visited her for the last time. Looking back to these final moments with each other, my thoughts and how I fared her well I realize: As a grandchild, on the deathbed of your grandmother you don’t judge her by how much she had loved you or cared inside for you or what she had done on the outside but on the overall impact she had on the life of your parents and on your personal life.

Thank you for the good and the bad… and the good I had learned from the bad, Efat. After this tormenting life, may you finally experience abundance wherever you are now, dance again and may your soul finally rest in peace.

Ya hagh