At Peace with Yourself?

Vienna Airport

The other day an aquaintance of mine send me a message asking me if she should reinvent her life.

I simply responded “Yes, life is too short to continue living it like before.”

It took her another few days to tell me what’s going on in her life.

I shared my experience about people at their turning point in life and how I went through my metamorphosis living a life now where I don’t compromise my truth

Eventually she asked me:

“Are you now more content and happy and at peace with yourself and your truth?”

So, I told her my reality:

„My life has been rock ‘n’ roll since 2018… and it’s not always easy. But I live in alignment with my truth and my self. Sometimes that comes at a high price – including not being able to see my daughter grow up as much as my ego would want to – but I wouldn’t trade my life now for my life before 2018 or 2020 for anything. Now I dance with the sunrise and sunset almost every day, glancing at the ocean. And every time I go to Pörtschach to visit my daughter, in the evening after the sauna when I step into the narrow-minded Wörthersee, my heart laughs because I have a daughter and still don’t have to live in an environment where I can’t be myself. Back at home in Portugal I dance every day and step into the infinite ocean 🙏🏽☺️✌🏽“


Kambo XXIX

Mijas, Spain

I encountered the warrior medicine once again. And once again it was offered to me at the right moment in time.

This time it was applicated directly on my heart chakra. “When we made the appointment, I had the feeling we should go on the heart. It is very powerful. It’s for the warriors of the the heart.” he smiles, “It is very intense, most likely you will faint. Are you ready?”

To be honest, for the first time in a long time I was a bit worried… I’m neither the youngest, nor the healthiest and while the curandero prepares nine dots of the frog poison to put on the heart I’m like, “Yeah, whatever, I know the soul is infinate!” 😉

And then I start to feel the poison in the body and as usual, there is this wtf moment “Why the fuck am I actually doing this?!”

And this time, I am reeeally struggeling. It kinda feels like the first few times. The purge doesn’t want to come… eventually everything turns black and I pass out for the first time with Kambo. I regain consciousness and just feel a bit better… a bit.

“Use the finger!”

I purge, but not a lot…

But suddenly it is over. However long Input the finger deep down my throught no more purge comes. It seems premature. I kinda feel like I held back or resisted… like I failed…

After leaving the house I just drive a kilometer down the road, not really knowing where I am. I park next to the sea with a nice view… and fall asleep. About an hour later I wake up and urgently have to take a shit. Like, I’m gonna shit my pants any moment. I start the car to find the next best place to take one.

It’s funny how life sometimes takes us to places to give us a sign: The next best place is the posh fish restaurant I was once invited to celebrate a birthday with friends – the ones I needed to leave behind me because I couldn’t bear processing their shit any longer. And there I go… I have one of the most relieving shits of my life. In chinese medicine the large intestine represents the ability of letting go…

The Kambo session found it’s end…

Life is so beautiful… really… I am so grateful to be able to learn so deeply from the shit I encounter. Looking at my own shit but also from processing other people’s shit ✌🏽

I learn who I used to be, I learn who I am and I learn what my soul tells me who I am supposed to be.