Losing mySELF

I love seeing life through the eyes of other people. That’s how I expand my universe… traveling between different worlds… experiencing not only my life but the one of many people. 

That’s one of the reasons why I travel, became a counselor and usually fall in love with women who have a very different life than mine.

When I fall in love with people I dive deep into their lives. Sometimes to the point were they feel I get too close to them and often to the point where I lose myself along the way.

It’s just like the poem I shared in my last post “Shams“:

  I was him

  I’ve become him

  I’ve become without him

  I’ve become just like him

  for this

  I am with no face anymore.

I start to see things differently, act differently, think differently, feel differently and even the way I move changes.

In a way I could say I do lose myself along the way.

What I often experience on this path is a state of mind I call psychosis – it has nothing to do with the psychiatric diagnosis, though.

It essentially happens when I start to identify with what I feel, see, hear and do during that deep-dive into these different worlds.

Then, I start to forget who I really am for the moment.

But hey, although it sometimes feels dreadful while I’m in the middle of it, it helps me find my true self and understand who I really am once I retreat from these identifications.

Not only that I experience a new world, I also grow.

So next stop… retreat!