On A Trip

Vienna

I always thought I don’t have many friends. But when I celebrated my 40th birthday I realised with how many people I do have deep connections with. I remember at my birthday saying “I’m so privileged, most people say they only have a hand-full of deep true friends but I need more then two hands.” It was just in that very moment that I had realised this fact for the first time.

My misconception was simply due to the fact that I do not have that “one circle of friends” but rather have deep connections to people one-to-one from different circles – and I’m part of non of their circles. I’m usually the friend of XY.

Before the Coronavirus outbreak I started to invite my best friends to my partner’s home to meet. Since my lifestyle had changed – having a partner and child – this was supposed to become a new thing for us as a family. My partner loved the depth of my friendships. A depth that she didn’t know in her’s. A depth I usually take as “normal”.

I regularly get irritated at times when I find out how much distance many people have with their “true” friends. How people often don’t show their true self to their best friends. How some people never really challenged their best friends in their life – even when it really would have been necessary. It surprises me that I seem to have this very different perspective on friendship than most people that I know do. And that’s perhaps why I have so deep relationships.

I remember the first time when I got really annoyed by this: I was almost still a teen my girlfriend once bitched around really badly and when I talked to her best friend to find a solution she would tell me that she would never question her best friend.

Not questioning? WTF? Being dogmatic about everything you say and do is like backstabbing?! No it’s being a true friend. Telling them when they really need to cut the crap is a sign of friendship! Who’s gonna tell you if not your best friends? To be fair enough, that was still in my early 20s. But I know grown up friendships that still have the maturity of teens.

Another example that had shocked me was of a friend who didn’t tell her best friend the truth about how she conceived her child. She was ashamed of the man. He didn’t suit her idea of “society’s standard” because of his looks, job, ethnicity and culture.

I mean, WTF? How do people define friendships? Even if I made the “mistake” to have a child with the “wrong” woman my true friends would know the truth.

But yeah, I mean, I usually tend to forget how privileged I am. There is these BFFs out there that present themselves as BFF on Facebook and real life. But when you look sharpley, in reality you find out that your best friend envies you for your partner, for having a child, for your looks, your job, your wealth… for your everything. It’s perhaps because these people are as empty and lonely as most people are who are not on a true, deep path.

So, I find it sometimes really sad when I hear what the friendship standards of many people are.

My definition of a friendship is very simple – has three “rules”: True friends or the ones that can not only tell me anything but can also challenge me in any topic… and who I can tell everything and let me challenge them in any topic.

How should I be able to grow as a human if even my friends don’t tell me the truth of what they see?!

Exceptions to this rule are narcissistic people. As we know, narcissistic people get angry when you tell them the truth.

The second rule is: True friends are the people whom I can truly show myself to as I am.

The third? Well this is not only for friendships but in general: People who do not envy me and that I do not envy.

(In my particular case envy in general is something I barely know. And whenever I feel envy, I know there is a topic I have).

It surprises me again and again that by these three standards, many people have no true friends.

I feel compassion for them.

I’m so grateful to be so privileged to have so many true friends. For weeks now they are actually all part of my morning prayer 🙂

vox

Vienna

When some important events happen, I like to wait to see what’s going on nine months later. Why nine months? Simply because it’s the time between when the seed is planted and the child is born 😉

When I first heard about the Coronavirus in January I had a gut feeling that this would become a big thing. I don’t know why. Maybe it was my intuition but maybe, as a father you start to become more sensitive to potential threats.

I remember quite vividly, when on the evening of March 11th I arrived back home to Vienna from a holiday, I heard the news that the Coronavirus-outbreak was declared a pandemic by the World Health Organization.

It was just earlier on that same day that I was called a conspiracy theorist when I talked about an economic crisis being potentially kicked off by the Coronavirus.

When I said that now was the perfect time for people to invest 5% of their wealth into cryptoscurrencies, I was told that cryptos were bullshit.

And I was also told I should go and get a real job.

Well, as a futurist my job is actually to talk about future threats and opportunities.

It is interesting how I was able to predict some less obvious things so precisely but not the most obvious one: That there would be a lockdown.

Some people tell me today how obvious it was on that day already that there would be a lockdown. But on that day, when I left Corinthia, it was not at all obvious to me. In fact I would not have left Corinthia without the ones I loved if I had at all anticipated it. 

Looking back, yes, it was obvious, but at that time… no… it was still inconceivable to me. And not just to me:  In fact most people had hoped that when Italy went into lockdown only two days earlier (as the first European country) that everything was “under control” now – well it had also helped in China. And so had I hoped. In fact what today seems to be like something quite „normal“ was inconceivable when we entered March: That a European country would EVER go into a lockdown.

When on the 13th I heard the first rumours about a lockdown I wanted to go back to Corinthia and pick up my loved ones. But they denied and decided to prolong their holiday for the moment… however, eventually they decided to stay for good…

Today, nine months have passed. 

„Conspiracy theorist!“? The World Economic Forum announced „The Great Reset“ based on a recession – which will, in my humble opinion, have a profound transformational effect on us and possibly even spark off the most innovative era in humankind.

„Shitcoins!“? Bitcoin has almost increased by 4,5 times (450%) since its lowest point in March.

„Get a job!“? Today Austria’s most prestigious artist and speaker agent wants to sign me.

Well, one eye laughs and one eye cries 😂😭😜

vox

Vienna

When i came back to Vienna I wanted to stay for only two weeks. That was two months ago…

And when I thought things couldn’t get any crazier this year, November had even more craziness up its sleeve.

On Monday, November 2nd, I woke up with a severe heart pain and although I’m usually quite relaxed about pains in my body it felt a bit different than usual. So I visited the emergency room of Vienna’s general hospital.

Fortunately, I didn’t have a heart attack but had to stay even longer than planned in Vienna – postponing my flight to Athens for a third time (maybe fourth… I lost count 😉 – to have some further check-ups that week.

That evening at 8 pm, when I left a restaurant with a friend a big black suitcase in front of the restaurant came to his attention. He wondered why it was there. I joked “Perhaps it’s a bomb.” He was irritated by that joke so I continued telling him, that in intuition training people are trained to pay attention to stupid or strange jokes they make as it might be a hint of their subconsciousness that something is wrong. Just moments later I received the info about the terror attacks that had taken place in Vienna am 8 pm. Some call it coincidence. I call it synchronicity.

Crazy sh!t… we had a terrorist attack in Vienna for the first time. May the souls of the victims rest in peace…

That Friday I had my check-up with my cardiologist. He said that my heart has a similar condition that it already had after the separation of from ex-wife and that I should give myself a fair amount to rest not leave for Athens… damn… so I’ll keep some people there waiting even longer for me… and my next flight which was scheduled for today would eventually be postponed by Wizz Air another two times… so let’s see when I will be at the Aegean Sea again.

About the same time the video of my latest speech was finalized. I had that speech written for the one I love most and dedicated it to my mentor. Coincidently the speech had taken place on his birthday and was co-hosted by the Persian he had urged me years ago already to get in touch with to cooperate with – which we now eventually will. Some call it co-incidence… I call it synchronicity.

However, since it was only days after the terrorist attack, I refrained from promoting it not to be insensitive.

A few days later I had to sell my cryptos as I had to pay some invoices and needed some money to invest into my new project. I was hoping cryptos would stay fairly constant in the upcoming months so I could buy-in in a few months again… good joke…

And, finally, last week my father had urged me to come and visit my grandma I haven’t seen in a long time. She is 97 and not exactly very alive. It’s strange when you see someone about to die who perhaps hasn’t lived for a long time…

And then, on the 25th one of my childhood heroes, a god died…

So, from what I write one might think November was a very bad month for me. I wouldn’t necessarily see it that way. This month got me thinking a lot about life and death, of letting go of people I love, letting go of money, life-concepts, goals and dreams. I’m 42 now and a bit in a “strange” mood. I wonder what I still want to or need to achieve in this lifetime. Don’t get me wrong: I’m not depressed… I just feel like… I’m done.

I remember when I turned 40, in a way it was the greatest birthday of my life. I felt like I was ready for the next stage, starting to unfold my full potential, potentially having a true impact with my speeches. Within the next 12 months of my birthday I would become a father and hold my most important public speech at TEDx.

And now I feel like there is nothing more for me I need to do in this life-time.

With my last speech some new doors opened up that would let me potentially become a public figure in Austria. But honestly speaking… I don’t give a sh!t anymore… I don’t give a damn about a society with values which I consider to be seriously ill anyway. A superficial “hashtag society” that is full of… where their true self is often exactly the opposite of what they represent with their hashtags. A society where it so much more important what you superficially represent and what you look like on the outside. What about the inside?

Who cares 😉

What for shall I become part of this society? To become another Angelo Soliman? They have their Angelo already, they don’t need me. And also, I don’t want to be stuffed and put into a museum once I’m dead 😉

I remember my mentor once said: You’ll see, if you ever become famous, down the line everything will be about power, money and sex.

Well… what I start to realize – since I had a little sniff of that society in the last two years – is how right he was. And when I faced these faces of death this month, I started to understand on an even deeper level and in different dimensions what is really important in life…

vox

Delphi

I knew before it might be one of the most profound experiences of my life but I didn’t expect quite that 😉

I came with many questions but none that I felt like I needed to ask.

I draw a card…

The Burden

I walk towards the oracle.

There are those divine moments in life that words can merely describe…

Standing right between the Sanctuary of Athena Pronea and the one of Apollo, behind of me mountains, in front of me a clouded sky and the sea… standing on a platform, I suddenly have profound insights…

That very moment Zeus confirms with sudden thunder and lightning…

We humans have the ability to imagine anything we like, yet, we tend to imagine those things that limit us most… about ourselves, about other people, about life…

So, first,

we imagine…

And then,

we create…

Yet, it is us who choose if we create out of fear

or love

So…

WE choose if we create our own hell in paradise 😉

Know Thyself!

Creator

vox

There are some songs that make up the soundtrack of your life.

They move something inside of you…

They inspire you…

They drive you…

They heal you…

Somehow they define those episodes of you life!

I still know every single song that defined each important episode of my life.

The ones I listend to when my dear aunt and grandma died.

The ones I listend to when I went On A Trip – Part I, Part II and Part III.

The ones when I fell in love with my wife, got married and divorced.

The ones I listend to when I wrote Stillstand! and Fate?

The one I listened to when I fell in love with your mom.

The one that drove me when I wrote the most important speech of my life… for you.

And the one that drove me to dance for more than 12 hours on the day I realized you will be born soon and how much I love you.

You will wonder sometimes why I am not there.

You will question if I really love you.

But there is no reason for that.

Never question my love for you!

Ever since I first learned that you will see the light of day, every story I told, every interview I did, every speech I created and held, everything I did and everything said, everything I do, I do it for you!

Our time will come…

And when it does, I will show my world to you.

I’ll show you how to dance with the moon and the sun.

Baba

Athens, Greece

When one door closes another opens (but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.)

Alexander Graham Bell

Looking back, I believe that I have never been able to pinpoint this incident as precisely as I can in this case:

It was on July 8th, 2020, exactly between 3 and 5 pm, when one door closed for me and another one opened.

It was at this very moment that I was disinvited from the life of the one I love most. And exactly on this day and at this time I was invited by a friend, Fate, to stay with her in Athens to take the next step in my life.

I left Vienna on 30 July, leaving my passport behind, losing it at the airport right after my check-in.

I arrived in Athens with no passport and no money in my pockets.

Can this work?

It does… doors open… it seems with each new encounter… every day.

The Greek national identity was by large parts defined when they defeated the Persians 2500 years ago. Everyone knows Xerxes, but no one is given that name. It’s almost as if someone named Judas is going to the Vatican.

So most of my conversations start out something like:

“What is your name?”

“Xerxes.”

“Xerxes”?! No problem, we beat you last time!”

“Don’t worry… this time

I come in peace 🖖🏽”

The Aegean Sea

As we know, in every conflict there is two sides to the story.

But often, more than the two people in conflict are affected and get involved.

In my most recent conflict, the people who follow the path of rationality and the mind urged me to fight.

But at who’s expense shall I pick that fight?

The ones I love most?!

No… no…

Reality is shaped by our fears, experiences and unconscious bias.

So who am I to judge what is right?

For a moment, I did consider to fight. Yet, fighting often is the result of disappointed love.

So, for sure I will not let generals decide upon my fate and my loved ones.

The damage I would inflict on them by going to battle would be disastrous.

Even if I am right, it would not justify the trauma I would inflict with that fight.

Often, when you love someone, you need to let go. Especially from the ones you love most.

I take full responsibility for my mistakes and surrender to love…

I leave in peace

vox

Athênai, Hellada

It’s 2015… a fairly ordinary year and I live a fairly ordinary life… fairly. I imagine how I would have reacted if on New Year’s Eve at the beginning of 2016 someone had accurately predicted my next five years:

“In 2016 you will become a pioneer in the European legal cannabis market by co-founding the first CBD dispensary in Europe.”

“Me?! Cannabis?! Yeah sure.”

“In 2017 your start-up will fail because it will be falsely accused of selling illegal substances and you may be prosecuted. At the same time you will initiate the first European CBD study for medical use.”

“Haha, whatever”

“In 2018 your wife will divorce you, although you always thought you would grow old together.”

“Hey, fuck off!”

“In 2019, you will father a girl to another woman and become a TEDx speaker”

“Me?! Of course!”

“In 2020, you will be refrained from seeing your child most of the time including its birthday. To compensate, you will start to tell stories, produce a podcast and do inner journey work so you can have a positiv impact on people through your voice!”

“Mhm… and in 2021 I will try to conquer Greece another time?!”

“Maybe?!”

😉

The other day I watched “The Last Dance” – the Michael Jordan documentary. The moment Jordan was asked if it didn’t bother him that his intensity and mentality was at the expense of his popularity amongst his teammates – his companions – his response resonated strongly with me:

Interviewer: Through the years, do you think your intensity has come at the expense of being perceived as a nice guy?

Michael Jordan: Well, I mean… I don’t know. I mean.. winning has a price! And leadership has a price!

So, I pulled people along when they didn’t want to be pulled. I challenged people, when they didn’t wanna be challenged. And I earned that right because my teammates came after me. They didn’t endure all the things I endured, do all the things that I do.

Once you join the team, you live in a certain standard that I play the game. And I wasn’t gonna take any less.

Now, that means I have to go in and get in your ass a little bit? Then I did that.

You ask all my teammates? “The one thing about Michael Jordan was, he never asked me to do something that he didn’t fucking do.”

When people see this. They gonna say: “Well, he wasn’t really a nice guy. He may have been a tyrant!” Well that’s you, because you never won anything.

I wanted to win, but I wanted them to win and be a part of that as well.

Look, I don’t have to do this. I’m only doing it because it is who I am.

That’s how I played the game. That was my mentality. If you don’t want to play that way, don’t play that way. Break.

Why it resonated with me? Well, basically I can make almost the exact same statement. Not when it comes to sports but when it comes to walking along the path of fear and pain and especially when it comes to confronting myself with my own “bullshit”.

In the past 20 years I’ve heard many well respected therapists, healers and spiritual leaders telling me – independently of each other – that they hardly ever meet someone who is as true to himself, as reflected and as self-critical as me. And that’s not me saying that, that’s them.

Does that make me a better person? No!

Does it make me an enlightened person? Definitly not!

The only thing it makes me is: A seeker of truth. And as a seeker of truth I uncover a lot of bullshit with my presence.

And that is not a trait that makes someone necessarily very popular amongst people.

People who like to confront themselves with their own bullshit usually really like me and value my honesty.

People who don’t, usually call me out to be violating borders or call me insane.

Am I insane because I share my perception – my truth – with the people I love? ‘Cause, yeah, I only do so with people I love, because I sometimes need to pull and challenge people that don’t want to be pulled for us to stay companions.

Does that make me violent or insane? Well, you know… only if they choose not to be my companions in the first place.

‘Cause, I never ask someone to confront themselves with something that I didn’t or wasn’t ready to confront myself with… and, most of all, didn’t let them confront me with… it’s not a one-way street!

So that’s how I live my life. That’s my intensity. That’s my mentality.

If you don’t want to live that way, don’t live that way.

vox

It‘s not a place. It‘s a state of consciousness 😉