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Victim of Abuse?

It’s funny how we keep doing the same things to our children that our parents have done to us.

And instead of understanding, breaking through and stopping the pattern, our ego always finds an excuse to justify repeating it instead of transcending.

If you have children, “you don’t need karma”. How much they truly love you and how they will treat you once they’ve grown up, is basically your karma.

And if you do the same thing to them that your parents did to you, they might well hate you – and you should have known better, shouldn’t you?!

And if your reaction to avoid this is now to make them your best friend forever (and subconsciously hope they never will really go through puberty to become emotionally independent), think again: It’s merely a continuation of the pattern as you are falling back on the only thing you know… how your parents have dealt with it.

You know what they call this pattern?

Emotional abuse!

Many people don’t take emotional abuse seriously, yet, it is abuse! And it is no less severe on a child’s development than physical or sexual abuse… perhaps even more.

So, if all of this applies to you it would actually be a clear sign of you having been a victim of abuse too. And you always have the choice to face your pain and fears, instead of fooling yourself, pretending you have it all figured out. Facing your parental abuse is perhaps the most painful thing there is – they were the ones supposed to protect you – yet they abused you.

But most likely they did, not because they are inherently bad people but because they were either abused themselves, or out of love – they loved you so much, so they subconsciously made you emotionally dependent, so you would always love them. Yet, that doesn’t make it less unhealthy.

Having been abused is not your fault, but it’s your responsibility not to carry it on to your children… it is an ultimate necessity to face this issue if you have children, ’cause you really don’t want to unconsciously abuse your children.

But yeah, you know, I’ve been there too, it’s hard to admit to yourself, that you were emotionally abused by the people you love… and it’s even harder not to pass it on.

So, if you really were a victim of abuse, the natural tendency of your ego will now be to call me crazy or project all sorts of crazy stuff onto me, so you can just continue to abuse and pretend as if everything was ok.

It’s easier to get rid of the person who mirrors the truth than facing the truth – even though he wants only the best for you✌🏽

vox

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Karma Cherry Picking ;)

It is funny how twisted reality has gotten in recent years.

Will Smith slaps Chris Rock in the face at the Oscars. And there is a major outcry about Will Smith’s reaction to Chris Rock’s perfidious joke about Jada Pinkett-Smith’s medical condition.

Please don’t get me wrong: I don’t condone violence. Will Smith’s reaction was plainly wrong.

However, first of all, it was a re-action. A re-action to verbal violence that preceded that re-action. I believe I would have re-acted differently but still, it does not change the fact that Chris Rock was verbally violent.

You can make fun of how a person acts. You can make fun of what a person believes or says. However, imho, you cannot make fun of the results of someone’s medical condition. It is like making fun of a person with a disability. And truly civilised people would never allow themselves to do that. It’s just like racism ✌️🏾

So, secondly, when I say reality has gotten twisted, I am not talking about people being outraged by Will Smith’s reaction. I am talking about:

Chris Rock also owns an apology to Jada Pinkett-Smith!

But I haven’t heard anybody talk about this yet.

I personally think Will Smith should have kept quiet and just have gotten back to Chris Rock during his Oscar winning speech. With style!

But sometimes emotions take over.

What I can relate to is how it feels like when you or your loved ones are being attacked or threatened by an ignorant person.

In the past – until just recently – I would also either re-act… or my coping mechanism kicked in: Being nice… hoping that things will get better eventually 🙏🏽

But sometimes things do not settle through being nice. Some people do not understand the language of love, respect and deescalation.

And this incident made me think how I want to handle such situations in the future.

Definitely, I’m not gonna be nice any longer 😉

A wise guy once said: “However powerful you are, don’t pick a fight with someone who doesn’t have anything to lose.”

And I feel at the point in my life where I have nothing to lose. I mean, what do I still have to lose? Everything that was dear to me was taken away from me. And mostly either because of projections, ignorance, unconscious bias or plain racism. And similar to Will Smith, I have in certain situations re-acted in the past as well (though not physically but verbally – with my perception of the truth that some people call more lethal than any physical assult). And the result was: I weakened myself. I gave these people the fuel they needed to gaslight – so they could twist reality and divert from the facts and the truth – that my false action was no action… it was a re-action!

So, what I’ve learned recently (and I’m slowly getting better at) is: Not to re-act. Not to let people say or do whatever they like with me or my loved ones but also not to re-act. I’m not perfect yet, however, I’m on a good path.

And I also learned that I don’t need to act or re-act anyway.

I mean, if I need to defend myself, I will – be assured. And I usually am lucky enough to have quite a few trumps in my hand.

But when I see the other side creating seriously bad karma for themselves, there is really nothing I need to do… life eventually WILL take care of it…

I mean, either you “believe in spirituality” or you don’t, but cherry picking doesn’t work in that realm.

Apart from the fact that, most superficially spiritual people don’t really get one thing right: There is no “believe” in spirituality. Spirituality IS… or IS not (if you don’t believe in it 😳 – sounds paradox, I know)

So IS karma… and it’s coming back to you… be assured. I’m sorry, don’t be mad at me, I didn’t make the rules 🤷🏽

Karma cherry picking 😂 In the past I was so self righteous, arrogant and ignorant to believe that the laws don’t apply to me and that I can get away with it 🤣

It’s like those people who believe in god, and seriously believe they can trick “him” 🤷🏽🤣 You can only trick yourself 😉

They say “ignorance is a bliss”… no, actually it is not… it’s more like a fatal disease growing slowly and unnoticed inside of you as you keep ignoring the signs – just to make yourself feel good about yourself.

Believe me, I know what I’m talking about: The price of self righteousness, arrogance and ignorance is really high… eventually.

But the true problem was: Although deep inside I knew the truth, while I was ignorant, I didn’t want to believe I was 🤣

vox