Three Years


Three years ago on this day, when I arrived in Vienna, I heard the news that Covid was declared a pandemic.

For many people, this day has eventually become a defining moment of their life.

Certainly, it has for me and my daughter.

Coincidently, just a few hours before the pandemic was declared, I had left her grandmother’s home in Corinthia eventually leading to the separation from my child’s mother. Originally,she wanted to stay there for the moment – the first lockdown. For the moment became forever.

My daughter is certainly not the first neither will be the last one to grow up without her father.

It is what it is. It took me almost 2 1/2 years to get over it. And still, there will always be a certain pain that I cannot spend these beautiful, magical years with my daughter.

I love her so much. Every morning I get up and drive for 15 minutes to a special spot, where I can see the sunrise over the Atlantic ocean and dance with it because of the love for my daughter, my Sun…

And every month I make a 3 1/2 day pilgrimmage from the Algarve to Corinthia to see her for a couple of hours. I can already see how one day this will fuck up her expectations she has in men 😉

And her mother wants to be there, every single time. She thinks I don’t realise that she loves to see how much our daughter loves me the same way it touches me to see how much our daughter loves her.

And this is something so beautiful and intimate, that only the three of us can share.

And although, we still didn’t find a way to talk, there is so much love between the three of us when we are together.

You know, there is a special love, that only a father knows. It is the love that a father has for the mothers of his children. It is nothing like romantic love. It is the love for the person who enabled that unique gift of life and who nurishes that gift to grow to become that beautiful human.

In this respect, I will always love the mother of my child. And I love the moments we share together as a family and when we laugh together when our daughter says or does something sweet.

And I know that deep inside she loves me too. That’s why she hates me and is so shit scared to talk to me 😉

Three years…