I Feel You


Since 2018, every 1st of August has been a very special day for me. When I woke up this morning at a friend’s home where the building is controlled by cockroaches, I thought, “Hmm, this year August 1st won’t be special…. quite the opposite.”

I mean, being stuck in blazing hot Athens (where it get’s up to 45 degrees during the day and – moreover – doesn’t cool down below 30 degrees at night)… there is little to do other than staying at home (in-between cockroaches), especially since all of my friends are out of town or working this weekend.

In 2007, during my initial trip to Iran, additionally to the special encounter with my ex-wife I had another encounter that was so intense that cannot really be put in words. It was like a nuclear reaction, the deepest of platonic love I had ever experienced… two man finding their Shams in each other…

However, after I married in 2010, he entered into a prolonged negative altered state of consciousness. It seemed like the man I had know and loved was gone. I didn’t recognise him again ever since. Some people told me, that he wouldn’t change anymore. But I was convinced that he would some day.

In the summer of 2018, I was told that he was back to his old self. Coincidentally, this sudden change of consciousness had appeared at the same time my ex-wife and me had separated.  Anyway, I knew – if true – at some stage he would connect.

There are some things in life that are inevitable to happen – because the nature of reality makes them inevitable.

During my last ritual at the summer solstice 40 days ago I had a deep insight concerning us, being able to forgive myself and him for some shit that had happened between us.

Today, for the first time in over ten years he called me. When I heard the tone of his voice, I knew he is back!

He kinda tried to explain what has happened over the last 10 years.

Ya mashoogh, I feel you… there is nothing to explain or to be sorry for. All of us on the path experience the dark night of the soul at some stage.

It’s been 10 years… it’s time to meet again and teach each other what we have learned from our dark nights 😉

Ya hagh