Author: vox

Vienna

Today is my Sun’s birthday ☀️

In November, nine months ago, I became one with the sun while seeing my Sun inside of me and around me while understanding that everything that happened, happened in divine order and divine timing…

Still, after so many months I feel the deep gratitude for all the struggles I had to go through for the last six years and the soul of my co-creator… who didn’t only “punish” me but in reality pushed me to the stage that I would either break or become light…

And shortly after I did, I delved into my dark side during my initiation trip in South America!

During my detention there were three things that kept me sane and motivated: Looking forward to seeing the smile of my daughter again and dancing at OZORA and at Pyramid Festival on E-Clip…

OZORA is the place I do my yearly retreat, reviewing the last twelve months behind and setting intentions for the year ahead.

This year OZORA started intensely…

Not only were there too many tourists that polluted the spirit of the portal but also the first night the spirit of Santa Mama held a mirror up to show me where I have gotten to since November 17th…

Life is like a game with 21 levels…

You level up, once you pass certain tests, yet you can also level down, if you don’t maintain the frequency that you obtained when you passed these tests…

I’m not sure on which level the spiritual path starts at, yet, once you reach that level, you can only bullshit yourself, you can never bullshit the divine!

Oh boy… how hard did I try to bullshit myself since February…

Arrogant as I am, after my ceremony in November I believed the rules that apply to everyone, don’t apply to me any longer 🤣

You may play a bit with the frequency of the devil, yet, when you play with it for too long, you burn!

In the last few months the tribe that I was a founding member of broke apart…

I was detained once…

Was almost murdered twice…

And made some of the most unthoughtful decisions of my life!

Definitely all these things that happened were either tests or signs… or both!

Now I understand, when your body becomes light… it’s not the end of the path… you will go through quite some testing to see if your spirit will too!

I passed some of the tests but definitely failed some!

Falling asleep the first night in my hammock at OZORA I questioned myself… deeply…

I wondered if I am still on the path of a pure light worker and if I had the right to wear white at Medicine Festival amongst so many pure and powerful light workers…

You have two weeks to become love and light and shine again!

OZORA is the place I talk to the gods…

My Sun Dance is the dance where truth is revealed to me…

So, I danced, on Wednesday, yet the gods didn’t talk…

Maybe it’s because my body was still weakened by the parasites that inhabited my intestines…

But maybe the gods had abandoned me?!

On Friday, I danced another Sun Dance on Astrix’ set…

After the set an angel said: “People are remembered for what they did, after they turned their inner darkness into light!”

The message went deep!

From there I went to Pyramid Festival.

Pyramid was special!

The first edition of a festival next to a natural pyramid.

The festival was small, yet very rich for its first edition!

And, as usual, I met some very beautiful souls there…

On Saturday, E-Clip was up…

I went there in my ceremonial clothes… in white…

Eventually dancing with the gods again…

One moment another angel came up to me with a big smile and said “You are full of love and light!”

I close my eyes going deeper in my dance…

For months I’ve been doubting myself…

My skills…

My illumination process…

“I am full of love and light!”

I smile…

I dance…

I open my eyes…

Suddenly, I see six cameras are capturing my dance…

My dance with the gods…

Your path is to spread the love and light!

I continue my dance beyond any doubt…

And then I know: I’m ready!

A few days later I meet Momo at the airport in London.

We reunite for real for the first time in five months and for the first time since our tribe fell apart.

Traveling to Medicine Festival to hold our Sufi Ecstatic Dance ceremony.

Looking forward to potentially doing “it” again at Medicine…

And we did!

Again we became mediums for creating a powerful vortex of love and light…

We were humbled by the energy and all the beautiful feedback…

Medicine was one of the most beautiful experiences of my life…

Apart from the resonance to our ceremony, the people and the general vibe being amazing my voice opened again into its full spectrum. The last night I met another angel who saq me, my frequency and affirmed my voice to be medicine!

Nine months, as I always say – a pregnancy cycle – is the time I let pass to see which fruits get ripe…

After that ceremony nine months ago, I experienced the darkest side of my soul…

Just to understand:

When you awaken, you understand, you are 100% responsible for EVERYTHING that “happens” in and before your life!

And you need to truly integrate your dark side before you can continue to elevate…

And if you wanna continue to play the victim game, good luck… you can only bullshit yourself, not the divine!

If you believe you are special and play outside the divine rules, you will burn…

I burned…

To reignite 😉

Ahasveros

Somewhere in Italy

13 weeks ago, I left for my initiation journey to Peru. I knew I might stay a bit longer, yet, I didn’t expect I would stay 9 weeks longer than planned.

What a journey… definitely different than expected… apart from a few chilled days in Palomino and Brasilia at the end, definitely the most strenuous and intense journey of my life yet… it was not a holiday… quite the opposite… I need a holiday…

And at the same time it was a very deep experience I had to make.

After many months of bliss since my illumination process in November, my path came down to what I believe the path of true spiritual growth to essentially be:

The path along pain and fear…

And definitely, there was quite some suffering in this journey.

I’m back for a week now and still processing… not sure what will still come up…

For now, I’m heading towards Austria to arrive in time for my dad’s surgery… seeing my daughter after more than three months again…

Heading towards a few festivals… sharing my work and dancing with the gods again…

Let’s see what the gods tell me when I dance with them…

Ahasveros

Brasilia Airport, Brazil

Valle do Amanhecer is a kinda surreal place. Look up the pictures on the internet.

I would best describe it as a open and tolerant sect mixing Spiritism with Christianity, Ubanta, Egyptology and other stuff – practicing mediumship.

When I arrived there, I was lucky the guy standing in front of the temple spoke English… hardly anyone there does. The first day he would kinda „serve“ me the whole day translating everything that was done there with me.

What was done there with me? Well, when you enter there, you get to see a medium. Usually you ask a question the medium connects to a powerful and clean spirit and that spirit gives you insights into the issue and tells you what „process“ you need to do to heal (there they offer something like six or more different processes). So you could say, the first stage is the „diagnosis“ the second stage the healing. The healing is also done through mediumship and spiritist work.

So, my question was „What can I do to develop my psychic abilities. I keep hearing I am clairvoyant by mediums and psychics, but I feel like I feel a lot but don’t see a lot!“

The woman would connect and then ask me, if I was recently in Peru, Spain and Portugal. I was kinda stunned. I mean, there is about 200 countries in the world and she asks me about these three of the three countries I was in before I decided to prolong my journey after Peru.

She said, that I was activated by the temples there. I am a medium and Vale do Amanhecer would be a potential path for me… if I want.

At first I was a bit flattered. Being recognized as a medium there – which essentially means that I can get a free six months training in mediumship (as everything there is for free, also the treatments).

But slowly thing started to kinda melt down for me.

After the „diagnosis“ my guide started to tell me many things and show me around, apart from doing the four processes suggested by the initial medium.

The things he said, kinda, reminded me of other places and sects I experienced, like „All your life was a preparation to come here and develop your skills as a medium with us.“ So, I started to become skeptical and feel resistance.

The next few days, I would return to the temple, do some processes and talk to people and elders there that gave me more information.

Eventually, I found out, that there is no real expectation or obligations there – not even with money or work for them. Only the people initiated regularly pay whatever „they feel is right to contribute, it is very individual and has to do with your individual life situation. After the training, they are so connected that they know.“

So at that point I though, ok, I might do the training and just contribute whatever I feel is right then. But then, when I asked the one guide if I am allowed to work with the skills I acquired there back home he said „No, all of us, we just work in the temple, because our skills are only truly and purely activated in the temple.“

So, yeah, I guess this means, I would have to dedicate my life to the sect if I want to work with the skills I acquire there.

Thanks, no…

Still, it was a very interesting experience.

Monday morning I try to book a flight to Fortaleza to have a final week on the beach before I return to Europe what I call my most intense and tiring journey of my life. I try to book the ticket with three different airlines but for different reasons, non worked.

I’m like… whatever, I’ll have some lunch and try it again after. Then, I call my dad. „I might have another surgery in 10 days. I’ll get a second opinion…“ His cancer returned.

The flight back to Europe is only €100 more expensive then the flight to Fortaleza. I call it a sign. It’s time to head back, as I still have to prepare some stuff in Portugal before I return to Vienna before my father’s surgery and eventually I head back to OZORA.

Ahasveros

Vale do Amanhecer, Brasil

So, eventually, we found a true taita with a pure heart in the Amazonas of Ecuador.

We travelled through the land boarder from Columbia to Ecuador to Tena.

And from Tena we went into the Amazonas. This time it was not three hours up the hill but rather an hour through the jungle.

We worked with medicine for the first three nights, then had two days of rest before we continued to work another three days with medicine before we returned.

The medicine was intense. I had diarrhoea for almost the whole week, and felt kinda sick most of the time

It was also an interesting experience not having internet connection for nine days.

A lot of things came up during that week… from truly understanding that I am aging (and that it is in my hands if I age well), over reflecting various relationships in my life to what is up for me to do next.

Well, I, for one, will continue with telling the stories of wisdom. I’m actually not exactly sure why I stopped with them. But it kinda feels like they will be my voice into the world.

And there were so many other insights and thoughts that it would exceed the scope of this entry.

In any case, this experience was really challenging.

Tien felt similarly… always laughing saying: „People believe the path of the shaman is an easy path!“

It is not… this experience almost felt like prison!

I’m happy I got out of there and the last weeks alive. Yet, I didn’t get out of there healthy.

Eventually I had either e-coli or amoeba or both. Thanks to antibiotics I’m fine again.

I had about five days in Bogota to fully recover and find an emerald ring for myself. A mission that started in the desert of Sinai.

Columbia famously has the best emeralds in the world.

I looked at many thousands emeralds and rings.

In the end I forged my own, in the workshop of a jewellery store.

This is definitely not my most beautiful ring, but I forged it myself.

So, finally I am in Brasil, in Vale do Amanhecer – a valley of mediums.

Next time I’ll tell you more about here.

Ahasveros

Tena, Ecuador

Sunday evening I went for dinner, alone. Usually, I would go out with Tien but that night he didn’t feel like dinner.

After my dinner I went back towards my hotel. On the central square in the city center of Quito I sat down to chill a bit before going home.

After about 5 minutes I suddenly felt someone hitting my head and then chocking me for behind while another guy attacked me from the front. In his hand he had a big knife that would even make Crocodile Dundee jealous.

Surprisingly, I wasn’t shocked at all and remained fully relaxed. While the guy attacking me from the front tried to open the pocket of my jacket I repeated saying „tranquillo hermano, todo es bien!“ and I didn’t try to resist. For one moment I had thought of resisting and fighting back. But fortunately I didn’t have any of my jewellery on. If they were gonna take anything unique from me, I will have resisted, but money and mobiles are replaceable and not worth the risk of leaking…

And they only took my mobile phone and ran away. They must have observed me as they new exactly that my mobile phone was in the right pocket of my jacket. They didn’t even try to find my wallet.

Once they ran away, I stood up, and walked towards my hotel.

Back at the hotel I deleted all data on my iPhone through Apple’s online service.

I was surprised how calm I remained. I didn’t feel any shock, any trauma response or anything alike. I was just happy that nothing serious happened nor was I hurt.

The next day I told Tien what has happened.

„I wonder why this happened. I wonder what it has to do with my energy? I mean, that’s the first time this ever happened to me and I was in way more dangerous places and situations before“ I said.

„You seem to be more in the Here and Now, after this incident!“ he responded, „The last few days I felt like you are quite in your mind and absent.“

I nodded.

Sometimes these situations are big teachings…

Actually, once you leave the victim mindset behind, everything becomes a teaching, a test or a sign…

Ahasveros

Colon, Putumayo, Colombia

After two days alone in Santa Marta, Tien called me and told me he had found a taita to work with, and that I should come down south to join him for three private ceremonies.

The next day, I flew into Pasto, an airport that could be out of an Indiana Jones movie – a single runway in a landscape of canyons.

Then, I took a taxi towards Colon, where Tien and I met at a hot spring.

The following day, we would climb up a mountain through a jungle for three hours to work with Taita Salvador. Taita is the Quechua word for father and refers to Colombian shamans. Taita Salvador was recommended to us by two people we had met in Palomino.

They call this place the “Highland Amazonas” – well, yeah, it is a jungle…

The taita’s son had been born just a few days earlier. Still, he offered to facilitate three ceremonies with us.

On the first night, he was drunk and apologized to us, saying it was out of joy and celebration with his friends over the birth of his son. So, without an opening ceremony or prayers, he gave us the medicine. We were a little surprised but were able to feel empathy for the special situation of his son’s birth. The first night was easy and chilled. Some purging, some cleansing, all good.

The second night became surreal…

About an hour after drinking the medicine, Tien suddenly started to do Buddhist prayers and then went into his mode of chanting exorcist mantras. As usual, when Tien does that, I had to start purging hard. Perhaps it was one of my deepest purges thus far.

Once I was done, he asked me if I could help him. “A spirit went inside of me!” he said.

I pounded my fists on his back with full power for about 30 minutes or so.

“This spirit is really tricky. It keeps escaping!” he said.

After some time, we took a break. He started talking to the taita in Spanish, and I only understood a few words.

He told him that the space was not properly cleansed and that there were many spirits present.

The taita was offended and responded, “Tranquillo hermano!”

I wasn’t sure if I understood correctly what was going on as the taita continued laughing wholeheartedly.

About an hour later – Tien, in a posture as if he were tied to the ground in child’s pose – called me and said, “Do you understand what situation we are in?”

My heart rate started to rise as I anticipated what he was going to tell me next.

“We are prisoners, and I am possessed by the spirit of a dead paramilitary fighter. He says he can kill us. The taita is with him and serves him,” he said.

“What do they want from us?” I asked.

“I don’t know. I’m trying to negotiate with the spirit. Maybe you can negotiate with the taita,” he responded and then added, “I’m sorry to have gotten you into this situation. This may be our last night alive!”

I sat next to Tien and took a deep breath.

I was surprised at how calm I remained.

We were stuck, in the mountains three hours away from the nearest human infrastructure, surrounded by a jungle, and even if I wanted to run, Tien couldn’t move at all.

And then, I started to recall, not seeing myself returning from this trip and Phara’s warning on our last night in Peru.

“Perhaps, this is it. Perhaps this is my destiny!” I thought.

Then, I thought of my daughter and how if I didn’t make it back, I would not have the opportunity to guide her into liberation. And then, I thought of my mother, who wouldn’t be able to bear the pain.

I went through different scenarios in my head, but basically, the moment the taita openly would threaten us, there was no way back. There was no way he would let us leave there alive as we would destroy his reputation.

I also considered finding a spot with mobile reception and calling the police. But what would they do? Would they do something? Send policemen through the jungle to rescue two Gringos?

“The only thing we can do now is remain calm!” I told Tien. “I will stay awake and alert… let me know if I can do anything for you, brother!”

A few more hours passed. Tien couldn’t move throughout the time and was moaning. The taita did nothing to help him. Then Tien told me, “I will telepathically connect to his daughter and ask her for mercy.”

Suddenly, after a few moments, he was capable of getting up. “I will take a shower now” he said and left.

When he returned, the taita’s seven-year-old daughter – who had been sleeping in the maloka with us – stood next to the door, fully awake.

Tien entered the maloka and expressed his gratitude to her in Spanish. Then he turned to the taita and praised his daughter and her special heart.

“The energy has changed,” he said to me “She saved us! The taita will not do anything against her will. We can rest now.”

The next day, Tien told me that this was his most intense medicine journey ever (and he has done hundreds). He then added that the taita was not evil as such, but he was possessed himself and did not do the cleansing work a good shaman needs to do regularly.

Shamanism has been glorified in the West in recent years. The reality is that there are perhaps more “black magic” shamans and people serving the dark side out there than there are good, clean, and pure ones.

I’m happy we made it out of there.

Ahasveros

Santa Marta

The visit to the Mamo Major of the Kogi tribe was one of the most blissful and surreal experiences of my life.

A Mamo is a spiritual leader in the various indigenous tribes of the Sierra Nevada. The Mamo Major is the leader of these spiritual leaders. Mamos are chosen during their childhood to be Mamos and raised in darkness in a cave buried most of the time of at least nine years in the earth to connect to the earth.

It is one of the toughest spiritual trainings there is throughout all spiritual traditions worldwide.

We spend one week with the Mamo – only four of us – living at the farm of his family, sleeping with him in his maloka (kinda hut). A true privilege as usually there is way more people around him and he usually doesn’t have that much time to dedicate to each person.

Where we lived, the structures were very basic. No toilettes and showers and no water system. We would spend most of our spare-time in the nearby river, cleansing ourselves and also drinking the water from the river. It was a beautiful experience of nature.

During the day we would ask our questions and at night the Mamo would work energetically on us.

When I asked him about my purpose, he validated what others have already said in the past about me… being a curandero, healing with my voice and being a psychic.

The most powerful moment was the moment we got blessed. It was not just powerful but also funny as Tien was joking around to make the Mamo laugh.

And the most surreal moment was the moment when we did medicine work next to the river with Tien. When the Mamo’s grandchildren came to look for us and made Instagram pictures of themselves while Flow and me purged out guts out… just a few meters besides them.

Also, it was kinda surreal when we saw guys with rifles running around, but we got used to it… to the point that when we saw that the guy who took us back to Palomino had a gun under his lap and it didn’t irritate us anymore.

The experience with the Mamo was a bit different then I expected… yet, very deep, very blissful.

He confirmed that project Tien, Flow and me work on is part of the Kogi prophecy. That’s why we came, why we got cleansed and blessed.

Looking back one day, I guess this will have been one of the most important trips of my life.

Now being in Santa Marta, I am alone. I could have flown back with Flow, but I feel like there is still something for me to explore here in South America.

Let’s see what’s up next…

Ahasveros

Lima Airport

Today I should have returned to Portugal. Right now, I’m sitting in the plane to Columbia.

My life is becoming increasingly surreal since 2016.

I’m on my way to meet the Mamo Major of the Kogi tribe.

On the way there, I will have to pass through areas of paramilitary fighting.

My friend Flow, who is also invited, saw himself returning in a vision. I didn’t.

I’m not sure what it means. Either, I won’t come back or I won’t come back as the person I am today.

Still, I feel like I need to go there!

So, today I wrote my testament and gave it to Phara to bring it back to Europe. Strange process…

I think it’s the first time in my life, I have no clue what will happen next, where I will go, where I will live, etc. etc…

This trip is like a blackbox for me.

The only thing I know is: I’m on a mission.

Ahasveros

There was many journies in my life I took to know myself. And then there is this journey to Peru and at the pinnacle of it Chavin de Huántar.

Chavin is one of the oldest temples in the world and the original temple for huachuma medicine. It was the most important temple where medicine men and women would get initiated.

There are no words that can describe the experience of Chavin. And is was a special honor to go there into ceremony with one of only two people who are allowed to offer ceremonies at the archeological site.

At the holy stone The Lanzón Stela Taitawanka, I was praying for clarity on my path the main message I got was simply to stay true to myself, be myself fully as I am perfectly good as I am and I connected to the ceremony I had on November 17th 2023 when became one with the sun.

„After so many years of struggling and working on yourself, there is nothing more you need to do, you just need to be… be yourself fully… be(come) a sun!“

Ahasveros

Pisac – Sacred Valley – Peru

Words cannot describe what I am experiencing on this journey.

The first week was the preparation for the first ceremony.

During the first part of the initiation with the sacred cactus, we went through a magical forest up a hill towards a place called El Paradiso.

My prayers and intentions were to see fully and clearly everything as multiple psychics told me I am capable of.

After the first cup in the forest I sat eventually naked in a creek to cleanse myself in the freezing cold water, while roaring like a wildcat.

The shaman asked what my intention was for the second cup.

“I want to see fully!”

“That’s too general, hermano. What needs to happen specifically?”

I think for a moment.

“I’m asking for forgiveness from the mother of my child, since I have hurt her deeply.”

He looks at me, fills half of my cup and says: “You only get half a cup, you’ve already gone through that process.”

After the second cup we arrived at El Paradiso – a place that truly looks like a paradise garden. I went to the other side of the garden to a spot that is a stone altar and did a prayer there asking one more time for forgiveness of the mother of my child, asking for Panchamama to gift me people that truly inspire and fulfill me, asking for strength for the path ahead… potentially being part of the Kogi prophecy…

And then, I got naked, cleansing myself in the freezing water of the stream again, hyperventilating… eventually joining the group around the fire, letting my head fall in the lap of the wise old Sophia.

“A king is born!” she said…

“You have big plans”…

I nod…

“Make sure you don’t become vain! But you are ready now.”

Later, at the fire, when everyone shared their prayer, I ask permission to speak in Farsi.

“Sacred fire, I ask permission to pray:

I’m calling in Baba Tshangiz, grandfather, the great general, I am your grandson, your heir, I ask for your power, your charisma and the power of your linage for my path ahead. I will truly need your power and I will honor you and our linage.

I am calling Mamani Fahteme, my wise grandmother, I ask you for forgiveness for all my ill deeds in this lifetime…

Please forgive me.

I truly need your wisdom and intuition and the wisdom and intuition of your linage on my path ahead.

My dear grandparents, please give me the power, charisma, wisdom and intuition, as I want to dedicate my life to the prophecy of the Kogi and serve…

Khashayar, shah zadeh, darvish

Ya hagh”

I feel the prayer in is whole body and energy field. As do my brothers and sisters present.

The next day I record a message for the Mamo Major of the Kogi tribe. The Mamo Major is the spiritual leader of the Kogi Tribe and 138 years old. Apparently, he is one of the most powerful oracles and psychics in the world. My activator, Tien, is with him at the moment, as the project we are working on was recognized by the Kogi as part of their prophecy of saving the planet.

Sounds crazy,…

Tien also wanted me to meet the Mamo for my cleasing and spiritual growth asking me to record a message to him, as he barely works with foreigners.

A few days later, I haven’t gotten a message yet and I enter a sweatlogde with the intention of asking for forgiveness for all my wrongdoings, throughout all dimensions and lifetimes and all wrongdoings of my linages.

It was the most challenging sweatloadge I’ve ever been in. Quite and intention to get all the shit of all lifetimes, dimensions and linages out of my system with only one sweatlodge…

I felt like I’m dying!

Coming out, I got a message by Tien which he sent during the pinnacle of the sweatlodge:

“Mamo said you can come”

🙏🏽